#Somewhere Between Life and Death

[stardust-bridges]

Club Furies Premiere: PHYC - Flauzino [PHYC]

Afincado en Ámsterdam, Países Bajos, PHYC es un dinámico DJ y productor portugués muy versado en la cambiante escena techno holandesa. Inició su carrera en Londres, Inglaterra, con actuaciones en el emblemático Ministry of Sound, y desde entonces ha llevado su sonido enérgico a públicos de todo el mundo, como Turquía, Italia y Vietnam. En Ámsterdam, PHYC ha actuado en OT301 y 8sixA, entre otros,…

[sunbloomdew]

the way to the moon is about holding on (to the promise you don't even remember making, to the person you loved, to the life you never got to live but refuse to give up). it's johnny choosing to be with river time and time again, it's johnny holding on to all the paper rabbits river made even if he didn't know their significance, it's river keep trying to remind johnny of their shared past, it's river giving up her treatment so a place that means the world to her is protected, it's eva and neil trying their hardest to send johnny to the moon, it's eva taking the risk in hopes of making it

the way finding paradise is about letting go (of your mistakes, of the unrealistically perfect life you never lived, of the person who helped you through your darkest times but who now keeps you stuck in the past). it's colin letting go of faye despite being afraid, it's colin keep replacing pages in his book with new ones, it's faye knowing that colin never needed sigmund's help, it's faye telling colin he has to let go of her if he wants to live fully, it's neil and eva trusting faye despite what it means for them, it's neil taking the risk in hopes of making it

[xuxudio]

the voices won

[suprcomputranimalracingsimulatr]

Memory Run (1995)

[ariesvibe]

.

[blood-ology]

This song is so Izzy / edizzy to me :(

[unloneliest]

looking thru my lilyflower tag and it's like. this is something like my fifth major original story universe and far from something i'd pick up to write soon but also i love these ocs and the horrible little situations i've put them in

[atlas-affogato]

Writing my tav's backstory out has made me realize I gave this man the most fucked up sense of morality ever

[bravevolunteer]

what part of this haunted house are you?

tagged by : @rentemotion tagging : steal it from me !

the stairs. there’s something eerie about this house, something wholly unfamiliar in the familiar. you’ve always been aware of it, of everything just a little too much. you’ve seen how this house sinks its teeth into whatever passes through it because you are the passage that connects one to the other. so you know how this ends — when someone believes they can tame a predator, and now you must sit back in and watch as they become the newest prey. you have a good heart, or what is left of it, but you learned the hard way to put yourself first in a place like this. so make no mistake, when the third step from the top creaks it is not without purpose. you are a bridge, at the end of the day, the intermediate between the familiar and then unknown. a staircase goes both up and down, after all.

[stormlit]

uh oh here we go again (yet another rook concept has walked into my brain)

[oswinstark]

The hell site is hell how’s everything going over here?

[steddie-island]

You can ignore this it’s unimportant I just need to get it out there and I’m complaining about AI lol

A second friend recommended I watch Late Night with the Devil, both of these friends have talked about it being their favorite movie of the year.

But like, I feel so icky even pirating something that used generative AI. 😭 Like I just know how bad it fucks people and the environment over.

I’ve also seen David Dastmalchian talking about how many people put a lot of love into this movie, and now it isn’t getting good attention because of these 3 AI images. And that’s such a good point too. And it does sound like something that I would love if it wasn’t for the fucking AI??

Like I’m so torn. But I just feel so icky. You know?

[sing-me-under]

So fun fact: I have two distinctly different interpretations the DSMP that I like to think about simultaneously yet independently of each other. They’re both based on two of my old fics, so the world building are designed to cater to the prioritized plot points in them.

The first world is what I called Halcyon. This is my first fic in the fandom. It’s a semi-low fantasy soft magic interpretations that built off of the more commonplace settings that were really popular in early SBI-centric fics. It’s got that easy suspension of disbelief JRPG feel to it.

The second world is Hero’s Journey, or HJSMP for short. This is my little passion project based on a pre-canon canon compliant AU. It’s entirely off the rails in terms of character concepts and world building. It feels like a soft magic system but it’s fully fleshed out. The magic system follows its own logic and rules with little regard to our reality’s expectations.

I’ll probably post something in the future with a full comparison of the two.

[switchnx]

nonbinary in the sense that i'm neither alive nor dead but a third worse thing

[steveyockey]

To be aware you might be trans but unwilling to do anything about it is to create endlessly bigger boxes within which to contain yourself. When you are a child, that box might encompass only yourself and your parents. By the time you are a gainfully employed adult, that box will contain multitudes, and the thought of disrupting it will grow ever more unthinkable. So you cease to think of yourself as a person on some level; you think not of what you want but what everybody expects from you. You do your best not to make waves, and you apologize, if only implicitly, for existing. You stop being real and start being a construct, and eventually, you decide the construct is just who you are, and you swaddle yourself up in it, and maybe you die there. There is still time until there isn’t.

This reading of TV Glow’s deliberately anticlimactic, noncathartic ending cuts against the transition narrative you typically see in movies and TV, in which a trans person self-accepts, transitions, and lives a happier life. Owen gets trapped in a space where he knows what he must do to live an authentic life but simply refuses to take those steps because, well, burying yourself alive is a terrifying thing to do. The transition narrative posits a trans existence as, effectively, a binary switch between “man” and “woman” that gets flipped one way or another, but to make our lives so binary is to miss how trans existences possess an inherent liminality.

Humans’ lives unfold in a constant state of becoming until death, but trans people are uniquely keyed in to what this means thanks to the simple fact of our identities. You can get lost in that liminality, too, forever trapped in a midnight realm of your own making, stuck between what you believe is true (I am a nice man with a good family and a good job, and I love my life) and what you know, deep in your most terrified heart of hearts, is real (I am a girl suffocating in a box).

And yet if you want to read the film as being about the dangerous allure of nostalgia, you’re not wrong. I Saw the TV Glow totally supports that interpretation, too! But in tempting you with that reading, the film creates a trap for cis viewers that will be all too familiar to trans viewers. Somewhere in the middle of Maddy’s story about The Pink Opaque being real, you will make a choice between “This kid has lost it!” and “No. Go with her, Owen,” and in asking you to make that choice, TV Glow is simulating the act of self-accepting a trans identity.

See, the grimmer read of the film’s ending truly is a nihilistic one. It leaves no hope, no potential for growth, no exit. Yet you must actively choose to read that ending as nihilistic. If you are cis and the end of I Saw the TV Glow left you with a gnawing sense of dissatisfaction, a weird but hard-to-pin-down feeling that something had broken, and a melancholy bordering on horror — congratulations, this movie gave you contact-high gender dysphoria.

In an infinite number of possible universes, there is at least one where I am still living “as a man,” embracing my fictionality, avoiding looking at how much more raw and real I feel when I “pretend” to be a woman. I think about that guy sometimes. I hope he’s okay.

Consider, then, my cis reader, that TV Glow is for both you and me, but it is maybe most of all for him. I hope he sees it. I hope he breaks down crying in the bathroom afterward. I hope he, after so many years locked inside himself, hears the promise of more life through the hiss of TV static.

Emily St. James, “I Saw the TV Glow’s Ending Is Full of Hope, If You Want It to Be,” Vulture. June 4, 2024.

[schemelin]

Somewhere between life and death